Tis more short nonsense, masquarading as genius i'm afraid folks...
POO!
Constipated
Is what mum said
Constipated
Is a word i dread
Constipated
With you know what
Constipated means endless squat
Constipated
A stranger to the loo
Constipated
God why can i poo!
Bellymonster Nervosa
I've got a bellymonster in my tum
It makes me eat the sweets and gum
The monster likes a chocolate treat
It only wants to eat and eat
I'll end up round over time
The monster's feeling oh so fine
So instead i'll fight him off
I won't let the monster scoff
And even if he's taken root
I'll confuse him, by eating fruit
The bellymonster he won't win
I'll end up looking nice and thin
It could have happened at School
I knew a lad called Graham Snot
He was the dreaded top calls swot
When we were twelve and he was three
He outshone us all with his physics degree
But in the end we had revenge
We tied him up outside stonehenge
So very near a roundabout
But for him, no easy out
And we left him there out in the sun
Until our exams were all but done
Then we let the lad run off
And turn into an awful toff
Two Miles Short
(or 'Dedicated to Short People')
I'm two miles short
Oh what a thought
I'm half the man i should be
I'm only five ten
Pretty average for men
That's out by quite a degree
I'm wondering where
I'd put all the spare
If it comes back to live here with me
On top of my head
Is something i'd dread
Even though quite a view i would see
Out of each side?
Oh two miles wide!
Would leave me dreading the door
Or tacked on behind?
I do think i'd mind
I fear it would sag on the floor
Then way out in front
Would cause quite a shunt
And make me so hard to ignore
I think i'll just stay
Happy this way
At five foot ten and no more!
Underwear
My nephew Steve
He likes to theive
And steal the ladies
Panties
He's often caught
He's never thought
To buy his own pink
Panties
There's Mainly only Droughts
A Nigerian Mouse
Often loses its house
When the rain it starts to fall
The poor homeless mouse
Finds his sofa doused
And his table under water